TO WHOM WILL YOU MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER TO ??

TO WHOM WILL YOU MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER TO ?

If you are a father who has a beautiful girl, smart, and noble character, to whom will you marry your daughter to?

Of course you will say: I will marry my daughter with a handsome young man, educated, has a series of titles, rich, income above the average, in order to ensure her life, and their offspring.

Is there any father who is more concerned with the "future" of his daughter in the hereafter, and marrying his daughter to a young man who is at a glance just like “an ordinary person”, but  his is the one whose religion and attitude (akhlaq) you are satisfied (Ridha) with ?

Who is that kind of father?

Heis Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib Al-Makhzuumii Al-Qurasyii, which used to be called by Abu Muhammad (born 13 H = 634 M - died 94 H = 713 M).

He is the Headman of the Taabi'iin (those who seen the Companions of the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the leader of seven Fuqahaa ( Fiqh Expert) in Medina during that time.

How is the figure of Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib as an ideal Father in-law?

Here's the story as told by his son in law : Katsiir bin Al-Muthallib bin Abi Wadaa'ah ...

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From Ibn Abi Wada'ah, which is Katsiir- , he said:

Long ago, I studied at the majlis Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib.

One time he did not see me for a few days, so when I came to him, he asked me: "Where have you been all this time?"

I replied: "My wife died, so I was busy for that."

He said: "Why didn’t you inform us so that we could come to her funeral ?"

Then he asked: "Have you remarried?”

I replied: "May God love you, who wants to marry his daughter to me, while I do not have a property except only two or three dirhams?"

He said: "I (would marry my daughter to you)."

I asked: "Are you going to do that ?"

He replied: "Yes."

Then he praised Allah and shalawat (ask Allah to send blessing on ) to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, then he married his daughter to me with the dowry (mahar ) of  two or three dirhams, then I was just standing and do not know what to do because I was too excited.

As  I walked back to my house, while I was thinking where should I get a loan from ?, I stop by at the mosque to pray Magrib then I continued back home.

At that time I was alone and I was fasting, so I broke the fast by eating dry bread and oil.

I heard the sound of knocking on my door, I asked: "Who is it ?"

He said: "Sa'id."

Then I try to remember all the people by the name of  Sa'id except Sa'eed ibn al-Musayyib (in-laws), because he has not been seen for forty years except between his home and mosque.

So I came out, and it was actually Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib (in-law), and I thought that now he would have known my condition.

I said: "O Abu Muhammad (the nickname of my in-law), why did not you send someone for me to come to you?"

He said: "No, you have more right to be visited, as before you were single then you married, so I don’t want you to sleep alone tonight, here is your wife!"

Apparently my wife was standing behind her father's height.

So my in-law held his daughter’s hand (which has now became my wife), and then pushed her to the door (so that she entered my house), then my in law closed the door (and left us both), and my wife fell because she was too shy, then I locked the door. Then I put the plate on my hand in the shadow of the oil lamp so that she won’t see it.

I climbed to the roof outside my house and I called the neighbours, they came to me and asked: "What's was going on with you?" then I told them (about our marriage), then they went to see my wife.

The news of my marriage was heard by my mother, and she came and said to me: "My face is haram (forbidden) to your face (means that I'm not your mother) if you touch your wife before I dressed her up for three days. Then my mother dressed her up for three days, then I started interact with her just like husband and wife .

Actually my wife is the most beautiful woman of all women, she was the most memorized of Qur'an, the most understand of Sunnah of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, and she was the most knowing about the rights of the husband.

For a whole month I did not come to visit Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib (in-laws).

Then I went to his Majlis (gatherings for religious learning), I said salam and he replied my salam,  but he did not talk to me until the majlis empty  .

When there was no one left at the majlis except me, he asked: "What's the news about her ?" (he meant was his daughter who was none other than my wife).

I replied: "Fine, O Abu Muhammad,she was in a state that is loved by her friends and hated by the enemy."

He advised: "If she nuisances to you and bothers your mind, then (beat her) with a stick."

So I went to my house, then he (in-laws) gave me with twenty thousand dirhams (for the provision).

***

Do you know ...

That before Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib marrying his daughter to Katsiir Ibn Abi Wada'ah, Caliph Abdul Malik bin Marwan has come to Sa'id to make a proposal for his daughter  for Al-Walid’s son, a son of the heir to the royal crown?

What did Sa'id does ?

Sa'id rejected  the proposal of the Caliph, and in many ways, the Caliph try hard for his desire to be accomplished, but Sa'id consistent  to his decision, the Caliph became angry and whipped Sa'id with one hundred lashes was  in winter season where bone-chilling cold, and Sa'id watered with a crock of cold water, and he was dressed with only a piece of woollen cloth.

(From the book "An A'laam Siyar-Nubalaa", Al-Imam Adh-Dzahabii, vol.4 page.233-234, published.Daar Ar-Risaalah).

O the Fathers ...

Remember that good looks will fade, all the attributes of the world will be lost, and there will not be a lasting treasure ...

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to the fathers :

"إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه, إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض." (رواه الترمذي وقال: حسن)

" If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, surely there will be fitnah (test) on earth and will become widespread on earth." (HR. At-Tirmidhi, he said: hasan hadeeth).

May Allah grant all of us a Saleeh (righteous person)  In-laws like Sa'id ibn Salih al-Musayyib- to the young Muslims,

Da'wah group